DateMate: The Promiscuous Person’s Personal Assistant

Price: $2.99     Score: 3/10     By A. PapachristosDateMate

There are plenty of fish in the sea, or so the popular dating metaphor proclaims.  However, that doesn’t mean you have to go wiggling fins with each one.  There’s a point in everyone’s search for “the one” when “playing the field” just becomes downright immoral (and hazardous to your health, mind you).

DateMate – The Dating and Sex Tracker by MEDL MOBILE was designed to help users reorganize and understand their love life by providing them with a platform that allows them to rank all their dates and sexual endeavors, tracking said activity and helping users to make informed decisions about their future based on past experiences.  And while the application itself features a beautiful, sleek design that would make organizing any other information a breeze, using DateMate simply implies that you’re a total sleaze.

When you begin, you will initially have to create an account.  Enter a username, password and email address.  (This will inevitably help keep all those juicy details you’ve been spilling a secret from whichever significant other may stumble upon it first.)  From there, you can then access the Calendar, which lets you view past and future “events” in List form or Calendar form, as well as add new “events” to the list with a simple tap of the ‘+’ icon.  Once you have completed an “event,” you may then return to its entry so you can rate your date on a five-star scale, one ranking based on overall fun and another on how good they were in bed.

At the bottom you will find a Menu bar.  Tap that to reveal all the other features DateMate offers.  Moving to the right, users will find the People icon, which is where they will enter the personal information of the various contacts they intend to date and rate.  Just enter the person’s name, number, email, and birthday to begin.  Such information will also allow you to call, text or email said contact within the app itself.  You can even add an accompanying picture and jot down any necessary notes that may help you discern this person from the rest of your flock later on.

Further to the right, you will find the Charts button, which truly captures DateMate’s analytical nature.  Simply select the mates you want to compare, the time frame (anywhere from one month, to two years, to all), and the chart type (date, sex or all), then flip your device horizontally.  Date statistics will be marked in blue, while Sex statistics will be marked in red, making it quite easy to decipher who’s the most fun compared to who’s the most fun in bed.  Then, when you’re ready to share all the details with your friends, tap the envelope icon in the top right corner to send your chart in an email so you can compare notes.

DateMate also offers a Search option, which allows you to look for something specific within your entire list of events and people.  The About button will also prove extremely helpful for users who don’t want their slew of mates to get nosy.  I’ll be kind and not give away the true secret to this supposedly “fail-safe” login feature, but let’s be realistic – anyone, male or female, can quell their suspicion by looking up DateMate’s specifics, getting angry at the prospect of what information it may hold.  You may succeed at hiding the sordid details of your dating and sexual endeavors, but you shall certainly fail to develop or maintain any sort of relationship.

Unfortunately, DateMate fails to deliver on the one feature that would have truly made it all-inclusive application for the sexually overactive: the STD Tracker.  (For those who don’t understand the acronym, I suggest you look it up and then change your lifestyle immediately.)  I cannot seem to track my contacts’ disease history and, after having slept with all those potential mates, there just isn’t a tab where I can list all the STDs I may or may have not acquired during my conquest to find someone special!

With an application so completely devoted to analyzing one’s promiscuity, you’d think the developers would have at least accounted for the potential risks, but I guess mates with disease potential would simply get a low rating?  Oh well, at least they made sure there was a simple way for me to pass along all this intimate information to people who have no bearing on my love life whatsoever.

DateMate [iTunes Link] requires iPhone OS 3.1.3 or later and is compatible with iPhone, iPad and iPod Touch. A small expedite fee was paid by the developer to speed up the publication of this review.

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